Thursday, December 20, 2012

eternal flame...

I often wonder
what you do
what you think
how we link
I am amazed
how you make me
think of you
imagine you
you can even
change my mood
owh my god
I am so screwed
kinda funny
I am like the queen bee
and you, young and carefree
What exactly do we see
Really beyond me 

do you feel the same?
like eternal flame?

                      p/s      Sayangku jangan kau persoalkan siapa dihatiku...

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Dear Awak,

Dear Awak,

Awak tau tak
Mesti awak tak tau
Tapi setiap masa
Saya ingat kat awak
Awak ingat saya juga?
Mesti tak...
Sebab saya tau
Awak bukan gitu

Awak awak...
Awak sayang saya tak?
Saya sayangggg awak
Dari duluuu lagi awak
Awak sayang saya jugak?
Mesti tak....
Sebab saya tau
Saya jer yang gitu

Agaknya kan awak
Sampai bila kita gini ekk awak?
Awak mesti dah muak
Sebab saya pun dah muak
Dengan awak
Awak awak.....

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

distinct disorder

...and she said
you have a bad case
of compulsive hoarding
you are not willing
to discard those negative vibes
in your distressed life

...and I said
what else is new
all that I already knew
i am not willing
to discard those negative vibes
in my impaired life

Saturday, December 8, 2012

A fool believer...

I always believe in fairy tales
happily ever after
prince charming
all those nonsense

I always believe everyone is good
if they don't, then its just too bad
naively being me
always with good thoughts

but life taught me
nastiness, unfairness
no such thing
as unconditional love

am I crazy if I say
I still hope for
all that I believe

Friday, December 7, 2012


every now and then
I will look back
and read what I wrote
and try to feel
what I felt
when I was putting
my soul in thoughts

most times I will smile
on how pathetic I was
had been in such mess
which should never be a cause
but alas
that was how i was
that will be how I am
because I am.
Full stop.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A tribute to WaWa... A sad memory

those memories
that I thought was erased
from my mind
definitely remained.

how can I forget
the sadness that I felt
the things you did
not thinking of me.

I knew I lied
when I said I forgave
I can never do that
not ever.. I believe.


Thursday, November 22, 2012


you came into my mind
knocking on my heart

felt like dejavu
when did i left you?

was meant to be yesterday
i am not so sure of today..

Thursday, November 8, 2012

please stop.

that dull feeling
when you're in pain

those pills popping
non stopping
please make it go away

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

busy busy bee...

when you're busy
with lots of stuff
work, life and all
that's when
you may neglect
those you care
so much


i am really sorry
not for being busy
more of being silly
that's just me

work may be important
but not as much
as you are to me
hoping that's what you see
not just me being busy busy bee...

Tuesday, October 16, 2012


If I have superpower
I wish can read mind
Then I can read yours
Try to comprehend
And understand

If I have superpower
I wish can alter thoughts
Guess how I would if I could
Make you think I am yours
The best thing ever of course

If I have superpower
I wish I can erase memories
Those painful ones
Then perhaps yup.... maybe
I can be truly happy?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012


supressed mind
strangled scream
can i wake now
this is just a bad dream

outlawed of my own feel
heartless raw deal
then who shall I be?
just a bitter me?

Friday, October 5, 2012

dunia teknologi

dunia teknologi
di hujung jari
merubah diri ini

apabila teknologi
tiada di sisi
hati terasa sendiri

simpan saja...

bila hati berkata
tidak teringin menulis
maka jiwa raga
menyimpan saja
segala rasa.....

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

si jiwang karat

si jiwang karat
jiwa dah berulat
awas jangan dekat
nanti kena hambat

karat pun karat lah
dah sebati nak diubah
takde sape pun kesah
ke awak dah menyampah?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

makna cemburu

cemburu itu perlu
bila kita cinta
itu maknanya
sayang tak terhingga

tapi apabila
cemburu itu buta
itu maknanya
saling tidak percaya

Monday, September 17, 2012

thinking of you

thinking of you, are you thinking of me too? putting my heart at risk to be broken but it doesn't matter as all I need is you....

a lonely star

once upon a time
there's a little girl
who wish to grow up
to be a star

night after night
she looked up the sky
to the twinkling stars
delighted and feeling awe

she grew up
she became a star
she still looks up
to the twinkling stars

but now she thought
I should have wished
oowh twinkling stars to be loved 
than be a lonely star... 

Friday, September 14, 2012


orang kata
mimpi itu mainan tidur
pada ku

mimpi itu mainan perasaan
mimpi indah
mimpi buruk

kau percaya mimpi?
mimpi buruk
mimpi indah

ianya suara hati
separa sedar

Thursday, September 13, 2012

remeh temeh

perkara remeh temeh yang menjadi besar akibat fikiran cetek.  jiwa yang sarat dengan keduniaan akan terus hanyut dengan ilusi perkara remeh temeh.  sampai bila perlu kita taksub dengan hal-hal yang bukannya hal? sampai bila kita perlu semak memikir hal remeh-temeh?

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

ikut hati

ikut hati
mau lari
tidak terlarat
setiap hati
yang meminta
diri ini

bukan tidak sayang
bukan tidak cinta
bukan tidak peduli

tapi kamu perlu faham
aku juga ada hati
ada perasaan
ada emosi
ada ketakutan
ada kealpaan
ada macam-macam

ikut hati
mau ku biarkan
tidak ambil peduli
tapi ikut hati
ikut hati

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

serabut otak

serabut otak
bila ku fikir
sampai bila
harus begini
kenapa ini terjadi
bagaimana harus ku baiki

serabut otak
bila ku tau
jawapan nya ada
aku yang tak mau
masih in denial
itulah nya; TIDAK MAU

serabut otak
dengan kehendak
menghadap takut
terus kalut
kelibat bayang
yang tak ketahuan

buat apa
serabut otak
kenapa perlu
serabut otak
just do
tak payah serabut otak

just do

serabut otak.

Monday, September 10, 2012

old soul

i woke up
and the skies are grey
my soul felt so old
i am a survivor
fighting a lost cause
trying to be bold

battered, bruised
crushed heart
too much of untold
i see the pink sun
behind the grey skies
i hope i am in control

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

teringatkan kamu...

dibiarkan sendiri

bukan niat di hati
masa terlalu mencemburui

apa khabar kamu?
bagaimana kamu?

doa ku titip angin lalu
semoga bahagia selalu

Friday, July 27, 2012

Matahari Jingga

matahari jingga
sekiranya boleh aku ingin meminta
hari ini aku bahagia

matahari jingga
aku berdoa aku bahagia
setiap masa di samping orang-orang tercinta

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

by chance

by chance
i knew you
and i thought
why now
not before

by chance
i have not met you
in person
but i felt
like i have

by chance
i never thought
i could miss
that i have never met

Monday, July 16, 2012

some people are just stupid

do you understand
the word respect?
or do you expect
i am just a subject
always incorrect?

Saturday, July 14, 2012

saturday's thoughts

is just clueless
full of joy
and hatred
mashed up

is so strange
the importance of trust
and yet the betrayal
combined together

is not a must
but much needed
is it worth the hurt
I still wonder

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A warning...

i gave you face
for you to embrace
not to be your slave
thats digging your grave

Friday, July 6, 2012

How long will you stay?

You came
Out of nowhere
Into my heart
and stayed there.

Clueless Stupidity

Loving you is stupid
Cause I know that you never really loved me
And you never gave me a sign so I'd see
That you and me would never have possibilities

Am I stupid?
I should have known you were only playing a game
And you and me would never be the same
You made me feel like I’m the one to blame

And I feel so stupid
Can’t believe you never knew what I felt
All this love and there ain’t no one else
but you treated Me so wrong and I can’t believe it

Who could ever love me the way that you do
How could you do me like you do?
Cause I’ve been so stupid for you

Monday, July 2, 2012

curse of being emotional

unless I am feeling
deep inside
really feeling, really 'living'
I don't feel alive
it's a drug, need that 'fix'
need ............. YOU

until you, until 'us' -
now my heartbeat is strong
you're my fuel,
you're my fire
how is this wrong?

you're so calm, so collected
your feelings don't show
here I am, such a mess
so damn emotional

by DeeDeeK

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

love? in love? really in love?

what's the point of lying
just for the sake of having
a fake peace of mind

what's the point of lying
when you know you're having
a cluttered confused mind

Sunday, June 10, 2012

random thoughts

why curse the wind
when love was blown away
isn't that a little unkind
accusing of being betrayed

life has never been fair
love and relationship is so bizarre
your heart should need due care
unlike witnessing a shooting star

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Alas! This Is Not What I Thought Life Was

I knew that there were crimes and evil men,
Misery and hate; nor did I hope to pass
Untouched by suffering, through the rugged glen.
In mine own heart I saw as in a glass

The hearts of others ... And when
I went among my kind, with triple brass
Of calm endurance my weak breast I armed,
To bear scorn, fear, and hate, a woful mass! 
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Child's Play

it is almost child's play
to pretend that all is okay
so no one ever can say
you are not what you potray....

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Blog post orang yang tak berapa rajin....

Someone said that my blog post, my blackberry status post and perhaps my facebook post, sounded like "orang yang jiwa kacau"....  I have to say, nope! I am good.  I am still who I am.  So if you think that I sounded like someone with "jiwa kacau" then that means I have always been one!! Kan? Ngeeee.......

Friday, February 17, 2012

jangan biarkan saya di dalam kegelapan....

seseorang yang dekat di hati menegur ayat-ayat bahasa ibunda yang telah ku gunakan untuk mesej pendek di telefon pintar ku.... tiada salahnya ayat itu, cuma dia merasakan ianya agak janggal terutama apabila penghantar mesej itu adalah diriku. lebih-lebih lagi apabila dia tahu bahawa aku menterjemahkan mesej itu ke bahasa ibunda setelah memikirkan ayat-ayat sesuai yang ingin di sampaikan di dalam bahasa inggeris... 

adakah menjadi satu kesalahan apabila ku berfikir di dalam bahasa inggeris walaupun bahasa ibunda ku bukanlah bahasa inggeris? adakah ayat-ayat itu terlalu kasar bunyinya kerana ianya adalah terjemahan secara terus? (dia telah menuduhku menggunakan google translate.... cissss!!!)

sila lah lihat tajuk itu, dan apakah yang anda rasa saya fikirkan?

saya tetap merasakan bahasa saya adalah seorang melayu yang sangat melayu walaupun saya mengaku bahawa saya berfikir dengan lebih lancar di dalam bahasa inggeris.  ayat-ayat yang saya gunakan seharian terutamanya apabila saya marah adalah bahasa inggeris, tetapi saya masih tetap seorang melayu..... wanita melayu "MULIA"! (chewahh!)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Oh Bulan (Part 2)

Oh bulan
Rindukah kau padaku
Bilaku tiada di sisi mu
Atau ku cuma unggas malam
Pungguk rindukan bulan

Oh bulan
Aidai kata ku miliki alam
Maukah kau bisikkan madah rindu
Atau ku cuma unggas malam
Pungguk rindukan bulan

Di kala ini
Cahaya mu yang menyinari
Buatku rasa lemas kerdil sekali
Apakah aku masih tidak mengerti
Yang kau bulan
Hanya singgah di mimpi
Yang esok mungkin tiada lagi
Lenyap di sebalik awan kelam

Oh bulan
Aku cuma ingin memiliki
Sejenak sinarmu di pipi
Atau ku cuma unggas malam
Pungguk rindukan bulan

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

oh bulan

oh bulan
sudikah kau temani aku
bila aku keseorangan

oh bulan
sudikah kau dengari aku
bila tiada yang mahu

oh bulan
sudikah kau fahami aku
bila tiada yang peduli

aku tahu
kau akan ada di situ
menemani aku
mendengari aku
memahami aku

tetapi mengapa
aku merasa terlalu pilu?

Monday, February 6, 2012

nasik lemak buah bidara kota metropolis (bab 2)

"ehhh mana Sexy Foxy ehh lama tak lepak ngan kita?" kata si tupai rentung pada si kuda belang grey putih. "entah aaa, aku tatau tapi setau aku lahhh, semenjak dia baik dengan si badak yang keji tu, dia memang berubah sesangat...." kata si kuda belang grey putih sambil membetulkan cermin matanya yang asyik terlurut.  Si arnab ala tomey-tomey mengangguk-anggukkan kepalanya tanda setuju.

Mereka mengeluh kerana semenjak tiadanya Sexy Foxy, group mereka dah kurang happening, kurang meletops, kurang fun.... Padahal masa dia ada pun, takdelah sehappening mana pun sebenarnya.  Moral of the story, bila satu geng member takde, group boleh berpecah terutamanya kalau geng member tu adalah velcro kepada semua member-member lain....

Sunday, February 5, 2012

nasik lemak buah bidara kota metropolis (bab 1)

pada satu zaman yang tidak berapa lama dulu, di pinggir sebuah kota metropolis tinggallah seekor badak yang keji yang perasan hensem. badak yang keji ini sukakan hiburan, sukakan pesona bintang.... perasan hensem la katakan.  badak yang keji ini, walaupun nampak hot dan rock, tapi fikirannya sedikit kolot.  dia juga rasa dirinya hebat seantaro dunia maka dirinya saja lah yang betul dan bagus......

nak di jadikan cerita, kerana keperasanan hensem itu maka, tergoda lah seekor serigala sexy foxy yang mencari-cari identiti diri....

sexy foxy ni.... dia educated, open-minded, very friendly dan sebagainya lah, sebab itulah nama pun sexy foxy. walaubagaimanapun, dia ni, kadangkala ada perasaan insecure sebab dia rasa dia not good enough la, suka sangat under rate dan sabotage diri sendiri.  dia ni memang sikit mental la, emo sesangat kekadang tu tak bertempat, tercari-cari cinta sebab dia ni kurang kasih sayang... itu dia katalah, dia kurang kasih sayang padahal ramai jer yang sayang kat dia ni, dia jer yang ngada-ngada kannnnnn!!!!!  dia juga agak naive, sebab dia rasa kalau dia baik dengan orang, orang akan baik dengan dia.  semua orang dalam dunia ni baik jer, sampai orang tu buat jahat kat dia maka barulah orang itu akan masuk kategori jahat....

tup, tup...

entah macamana, badak yang keji berjaya memikat hati sexy foxy.  sangat musykil sebab mereka memang sangat berlainan dan sangat tak mungkin untuk bersama.  mana taknya.... sorang memang tak penah kluar dari kubang lumpur busuk di pinggir kota metropolis tu, sorang lagi, emmmm dia memang agak kekotaan dari segi perwatakan, bodoh alang gak la kan, sebab ke"naive"an nya itu.

tup, tup....

mereka bersama. ya betul....

tup, tup....

Badak yang keji; "sayang.... since now you ni dengan I kan, and kalau you nak stay dengan I yang hensem ni kan, I taknak you berkawan lagi dengan kawan-kawan you yang ramai-ramai tu... kalau tidakkkkkkk........."

Sexy foxy pun berkata; "ala...... kenapa pulak you? kenapa tak boleh kawan dengan kawan-kawan I tu....?"

"You ni jangan nak melawan boleh tak, you ikut jer apa I cakap kalau u nak berkawan dengan badak yang hensem seantaro dunia ni ok? U kata u nak cari identiti diri you, so you ikut jer apa I kata.  Kalau tak you boleh blahhh, you cari la sendiri tak payah I ada dalam hidup you lagi;" kata si Badak dengan nada yang sungguh macam tak boleh blahhh.

Hairan bin ajaib bila si sexy foxy menurut kata dan perintah si badak yang keji.  Entah apa ilmu angin kentut yang dihembus dek si badak sampai si sexy foxy menurut pepatah nasik lemak buah bidara, sayang selasih saya turutkan, buang mak buang sedara kawan segala, kerana kasih saya turutkan.

sambung lain kali..... sebab saja lah... saya memang suka kan anti klimaks!