Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Do you believe in karma? I don't even know what the word means, but I know that what goes around comes around...

So people, you better be careful of what you do, what you wish for, etc. as it may eventually haunt you for the rest of your life....

Friday, December 23, 2011

criss cross

the mind and the heart
their path didn't cross....

coz the heart thought
it will not get lost

but heart being a heart
knows it will not last 

the heart has lost!

Full stop

sampai satu garis 
aku rasa kecewa 
dilayan seperti ini 
seperti tidak penting. 

sampai satu titik 
kecewa itu tidak ku rasa 
layananmu tidak kuperlu 
kerana kau tidak lagi penting full stop

courtesy of: http://nanirostam.blogspot.com/2011/04/full-stop.html

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Convenient Love

in your mind
i was never the one
someone that you trust
how can you love someone
when i was never the one
yeah i know 
when someone better come along
i will be left alone
now matter what you may say
but i will be left alone
this is just convenient love

May 20th 2011, 8.37 a.m.

siapakah itu yang pernah ku cinta....

Mengapa begitu dalamnya rasa kehilangan
resah pun berselerak di merata pelosok
menyiat-nyiat seluruh jasad
berhiba hiba sendiri
mengapa begitu dalam rasa cinta
rindupun berselirat menyumbat nadi
kasih tertanam tak mungkin mati
tangis memecah seluruh alam
melumpuh sekujur badan
mengapa cinta perlu hilang
sedang balutannya kemas
kuncinya kau pegang.

dipetik dari: nanirostam.blogspot.com

Evil Thoughts

freaks me out when i think evil thoughts
coz i am no evil
but my thoughts are evil
then am i evil?

this is all your fault
that i am evil...

all your fault
all your fault
coz i am no evil!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Allowing My Inner Light to Guide Me

Copied this from one of the blogs that I follow with slight tweaks to suit my declaration to the universe...

"I know that there comes a time when I must stand alone.  I must be confident enough to follow my own dreams.  I must be willing to make sacrifices.  I definitely must be capable of changing and rearranging my priorities so that my final goal can be achieved.  Sometimes, familiarity and comfort need to be challenged.  There are times when I must take a few extra chances and create my own realities.  Be strong enough to at least make my life better.  Be confident enough that I won't settle for a compromise just to get by. Appreciate myself by allowing me the opportunities to grow, develop and my true sense of purpose in this life.  I won't stand in someone else's shadow when it is my sunlight that should lead the way."

Monday, December 19, 2011

I am truly sorry

I am truly sorry that you cannot accept me for who I am.. 
But I will tell you one thing I am me and I WILL NOT apologize for that. I am me, whether you like it or not. 

I am not here for you to control, I am not here for you to judge. 
And if that is all you want then leave me alone cause it isn't going to happen. 

I have been in the position way too many times of being in others control and changing for others because they didn't like me.
Well not anymore.. 

I am me nothing more, nothing less. I am me whether you like me or not. I am me take it or leave it. It is your choice, but when you decide to try and change me and control me that is when it becomes MY choice to stay away from negativity. 

I am me.. And I am sorry if you cannot accept that... 

If You Are Who You Are, Then Who Are You?

Each of us is born, we live lives of various lengths, and then we die. We have a separate nature which is our own and which sets us apart from every other person who lives or has ever lived. We share similar characteristics, but each of us is unique. You are you.

What makes us unique is the fact that we perpetually make choices between alternatives. Our choices seem to be far more than mechanical selections based on some complex biological decision making scheme. Rather, your choice seems to be based not only on what you believe will happen if you make a certain choice, but also on what you "want" to happen. You engage in what we will call “rational thought”, whereby you think about many things, including the concepts of right and wrong. You eventually reach a point where that certain quality of being which is unique to you takes over, and you make your choices.

Even though human beings have instinctive feelings for self-preservation, self-satisfaction, etc., you can choose to do the opposite, to go against what your instincts, personality, and emotions tell you to do. You can think about what you are going to do, and can choose to do what you believe is right and good even if it places you in grave danger. Similarly, you can choose to do what you believe is wrong and evil even if you would instinctively do otherwise. Your decision is your decision, a product of your singular existence and being. Able to engage in rational thought, and to choose freely among various courses of action based on those thoughts, you are in a very real sense what you choose to be.  

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Andai ku miliki semalam..

DUNIA ini terlalu HINA untuk membuat kita MENANGIS... Terlalu MURAH untuk membuat kita BERSEDIH.. Terlalu LEMAH membuat kita PUTUS ASA.... Memang ALLAH SWT tidak menjanjikan Langit itu selalu BIRU, Bunga itu selalu MEKAR, Mentari itu selalu BERSINAR, Tetapi ketahuilah bahawa ALLAH SWT memberi PELANGI di setiap BADAI, SENYUM di setiap AIR MATA, BERKAH di setiap MUSIBAH, Dan JAWAPAN di setiap DOA.. Alhamdullillah......

Ya Allah ya tuhan ku,
I beg you to give me the strength to go through this trying moments, for me to stay sane in my own insanity, for me to be back on the route of a muslimah...  Lembutkan lah hatiku ya allah untuk menerima ketentuan...

Friday, December 16, 2011

remnants of lost love

I wish I can hate you

But I can't

I wish I can switch off my mind and not think of you

But I can't

I wish I am not hurt so much

But I am

I wish all the best to you

That's the only thing I can.....

Thursday, December 15, 2011


small wonder do wonders
does age matter?
no it doesn't
we will keep on rocking!

Kekurangan Kasih Sayang!

I do it my way..

People told me that I have to think of other people in the universe who have greater issues than mine and I should be thankful with all that I have.  Yes, I know that I have a family, I have a job which pays me well (ok, they can pay me more, I don't mind at all...), friends who cares, bla bla bla....  It is not that I am not thankful.  It is not like that at all.  My blog is just my way of letting go of what I have in my chest.  How in my small mind, what I wanted "more" of my life.  I get it that I have to change something, or my ways or my thoughts, whatsoever, in order for me to actually achieve what I wanted.  I get it that what I am doing now is merely mind masturbation that will not ever give me any orgasm.  But it is jut my way....

I can be so bloody emotional at one point of time.... but I switched to be happy with just a simple act of love and kindness.  That is just me.  So people out there, can you just accept me as me?  As I accept you as you? Your kindness, your selfishness, your love, your hatred..... all of it!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

What's wrong with you? Are you stupid?

So what's wrong with you? What was it that you don't understand about the statement? Is it not in a simple plain English language? Do I need to translate it to other languages? Tamil? Urdu? Arabic? French?


Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Sighing is my hobby now....

sometimes I wonder
what is it that you see in me
is it the same as how i see you?
i am who i am


Behind my smile is a hurting heart.  Behind my laugh, I’m falling apart.  Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am…isn’t me.

Ofcourse I can fix it on my own, because I am a survivor.  One thing that I am sure I have is determination especially when I really wanted something.  Sometimes it can be a nuisance, as I have this stupid tendency to sabotage my ownself for whatever stupid needs that I think I want.  Sigh!

I am who I am

I have gone long winded journey, though not wiser but I know I am stronger... I may not be too sure why I am here but I sure would like to know...

I am welcoming myself back to blogger officially!